Still Reaching
I became a therapist because I wanted to meet people at exactly this point — when things are at their worst, and something in them is still reaching.
Most people don't come into therapy on a winning streak. Usually it's real trouble that finally makes someone reach out. And by the time they do, they've often spent a long stretch believing that what they're going through is embarrassing, something they should figure out alone, or not worthy enough to take up anyone's time.
That belief does something specific. You say less and carry more. The less you say, the more alone you are with it — and the more alone you are, the harder it becomes to say anything at all. Shame is efficient that way. It arranges for its own conditions to continue.
The people I work with are almost always carrying something no one around them knows about. Not because they're deceptive, but because they've learned that certain things aren't said out loud. Therapy is the place where that rule doesn't apply. Your disappointments, losses, and shortcomings are welcomed to be listened to and understood.
I don't think there's an experience that isn't worth being seen, heard, and said out loud. That includes whatever you're most sure is the exception. My approach to therapy is not about telling you what to do, or assuming I know who you are, but rather about listening with curiosity, illuminating what's been in the dark, and helping you strengthen your internal compass.
If you're at that point, I'd be glad to hear from you. I offer a free [15-minute] consultation call. You can leave me a confidential voicemail at 805-307-7066.
Most people don't come into therapy on a winning streak. Usually it's real trouble that finally makes someone reach out. And by the time they do, they've often spent a long stretch believing that what they're going through is embarrassing, something they should figure out alone, or not worthy enough to take up anyone's time.
That belief does something specific. You say less and carry more. The less you say, the more alone you are with it — and the more alone you are, the harder it becomes to say anything at all. Shame is efficient that way. It arranges for its own conditions to continue.
The people I work with are almost always carrying something no one around them knows about. Not because they're deceptive, but because they've learned that certain things aren't said out loud. Therapy is the place where that rule doesn't apply. Your disappointments, losses, and shortcomings are welcomed to be listened to and understood.
I don't think there's an experience that isn't worth being seen, heard, and said out loud. That includes whatever you're most sure is the exception. My approach to therapy is not about telling you what to do, or assuming I know who you are, but rather about listening with curiosity, illuminating what's been in the dark, and helping you strengthen your internal compass.
If you're at that point, I'd be glad to hear from you. I offer a free [15-minute] consultation call. You can leave me a confidential voicemail at 805-307-7066.