Attuned | Apart
Many parents are struggling with worries about their children and doubts about their abilities as a mother or father. Children need parents who are attuned to their needs and can provide them with warmth, comfort and security that is essential for their nurturance.
If you are a struggling parent that is worried about your child, then welcome to the club! Parents today are often exhausted by the demands of juggling multiple responsibilities like child care, careers, and relationships. This is often exasperated by the pull of technology which can further drain one's time and energy.
A parent who is giving up self-care for the sacrifice of being a 'good' parent has forgotten the message that is told when one is preparing for takeoff on an airplane - put your oxygen mask on first and then your child's. When a parent is not physically and mentally healthy this prevents him or her from being the best parent they can be. Constantly putting the needs of others before one's own may lead to chronic stress and burnout.
Often when parents are struggling they keep the focus on their children - feeling good when their kids are doing 'well' and overtaken by worry when they are not. Many parents harbor insecurities that they are not doing a good enough job as parents or that any difficulty in a child's life is reflective of them. This pressure contributes to emotional breakdowns and often creates distance in relationships.
Therapy is a tool for parents who need their own secure base from which they feel invited to share their worries, resentments and disappointments. Keeping such feelings inside is toxic for one's mental health and well being. It is a recipe for tension and anger in our relationships and often blocks access to experiences of joy, creativity and laughter.
You are not the only parent in the world who did not get an instruction guide on how to navigate this stage of life. It is not too late to seek support for yourself and in doing so you are leading your family by example. Taking responsibility for our own lives takes courage and is much more fruitful than sitting at home isolated in our fears.
In therapy we can work together to discover your true self. You will gain strength through sharing openly and honestly to empathetic ears. Your fears of negative judgement and criticism can wash away. You can start to believe in yourself again - one baby step at a time.